kämpfen
by Scavirr
Summary: In which Mikasa decides to distract the titan to help save Carla.


**On that day, humanity received a grim reminder.**

**We lived in fear of the titans and were disgraced to live in these cages we call walls.**

* * *

His hands were starting to bleed and sting from having splinters enter and re-enter his wounds. Eren felt warm tears pricking in the corner of his eyes as he clenched them shut hoping that it was just a dream.

Carla yelled out her name. Mikasa lowered her head in frustration when the thundering footsteps came closer, got louder. She could hear Eren grunting as he attempted to pick up the pillar. She felt useless again. Bits of her mother protecting her flashed in her mind. She didn't want Carla to die too. Even though they weren't together for that long, she never really got to properly thank her for considering her as a daughter, for making her feel welcome into their family. She remembered the first day when they met. Carla had complimented her hair and tried to bond with her after Mikasa slowly got used to the thought of having a family to wake up to had a few girl talks where she discovered that Carla had always wanted a daughter. Mikasa could feel warm tears trailing down her cheeks. The last time she had cried was the day she met Eren. It made her sick to her stomach to hear her surrogate mother cry out her name, telling her to run away with Eren. It was just like last time.

She couldn't do anything then and she was helpless again today. She tried picking up part of the roof and wasn't as successful as she'd hoped. She closed her eyes when she heard Eren yell out that they were all going to run away together. It hurt trying to remember the pain she felt the first night when she had a nightmare of her parents dying with her standing on the side, just watching. She didn't want Eren to feel that pain. The incident was nearly a year ago and she was still having nightmares about it. Some went further than her just lying on the wooden floor of the traffickers. She would find herself in the hands of a dirty man, someone who bought her. The setting would be different like the people she was sold to. Sometimes it would be to just one man, and others would be to a gang. It made her head ache trying to recall something she obviously wanted to forget. Eren would've yelled at her for still crying over her parents. It wasn't because he was heartless. He just wanted her to move on, to forget about the bad things and get stronger. The world was a cruel but beautiful place. Eren had taught her that. It was ugly when she had gone through almost being sold but yet it was beautiful when he saved her and gave her something that no one would have been able to offer her - a family.

Mikasa didn't want to lose that family again. She didn't want Eren to feel what she felt. She still hadn't thanked him or his parents for all that they had given her. For not making her feel like a stranger. For making her feel loved. If she didn't do something, her second mother figure was going to die and that would leave Eren scarred. He wouldn't be able to recover from that. It gave Mikasa a feeling that he would probably change for the worse. If she was stronger, she could lift this up and they could all escape. Her small bleeding hands weren't much help here though. Her eyes widened when she heard thundering footsteps growing near. She didn't have to glance up to know that one of them were on their way here. Mikasa could hear Eren's desperate yells ringing in her head. Her 'mother's' imploring cries for them to escape. It broke her heart to think that this may probably be the last time Eren and Carla would see each other. If they had a little more time maybe -

Time was something they need. Badly. If they had time, Carla could be pulled out and escape from the titan. She lifted a hand to her scarf. From what she remembered in class, the titans usually ate one person and walked around before they regurgitated said body and roamed off in search for another. That wasn't what she was too worried about. The only problem was how to get her out when the two of them could barely do it and even if they did manage to get her out, how would one child carry her? She gripped on it tightly. Her head perked up a bit when she heard a familiar whizzing noise. She had a feeling she knew who it was. There was only one person who would come looking for them. She began to loosen its wrap around her neck. This was it. This was her chance.

Before she knew it, she briefly made eye contact with Eren and Carla and mouthed the words 'I love you' in her native language after removing said scarf. Eren may not remember what it was as he responded with a bewildered look but it was obvious Carla did when her tear-filled eyes widened as she gasped silently. He wasn't sure what to think of when she took of her scarf but the look on her face told him that he wasn't going to like what she was going to do next. Hearing the titan coming made him look away from her and back at the pillars. Mikasa only smiled sadly when she saw him struggle even more to pull off the roof. When the sound of the manuever gear neared even closer than the titan, her dainty hand let go of the pillars and her legs had taken off after she muttered an apology to the two. Eren felt nothing less than shock when he felt a familiar cloth fall around his neck. "Mikasa! What are you doing! Get back over here!" He cried. He looked down to see her scarf. He was more than confused. What is she doing?! Not even a minute ago, she was crying and looked like life had kicked her down. Now she was smiling and running away after giving him back her beloved scarf. Hearing footsteps stopping beside him, he turned around.

"Hannes! Get Mika-" Eren was interrupted by said girl as she yelled, "Hannes, save Carla!" She hadn't even bothered to turn around. Her voice died down as she ran further away from them. His face registered a look of surprised when he saw the oriental girl running towards the long-haired titan. Hannes looked at Eren. His large eyes held something akin to confusion and frustration. Carla looked angry but her eyes were sad with worry. It was obvious worry for the children who were trying to save her. She started sobbing when she shouted at him to get Mikasa back. Hannes only grinned when he looked at the mother and her struggling son. "Don't worry Carla. I'll get that brat back," he said as he started heading towards the titan. He could hear the echoes of her telling Eren to leave and Eren's refusals. He knew that the girl was close to the family but she had only spent a year with them. He hadn't realised that her attachment to them was a lot more than he thought. He wasn't sure how close but her pulling off a stupid stunt like this was enough proof for him.

He liked the girl. He saw her as a niece that he never had. She was able to keep Eren under control when the situation called for it. When she arrived, she was a crying mess. She looked so broken and lost but there was some small glint of hope in her eyes that she had when Eren clutched onto her hand. It made him chuckle to himself when he remembered how protective Eren was of her. He had told him to keep his distance so he wouldn't make her cry. For a few weeks, he hadn't seen her without Eren by her side. It was quite adorable really but he never told that to the angry boy's face. Whenever anyone mentioned how different she looked, he would always end up in a fight. He only knew of these when he asked Mikasa who would be looking down on herself for not fighting for him or at least helping. Even though the other children teased her about her facial features and the way she spoke, her hair was what attracted the most attention. It was easy to tell that she wasn't from the area by the colour of her hair. No one here had hair that dark. When a boy had given her a compliment, Eren had assumed he was being sarcastic and got into another fight with him in which Mikasa ended up winning.

Hannes wished he could go back to those times. He would rather deal with an angry Eren with Mikasa and Armin behind him than the monsters walking around his home. He was quickly catching up to Mikasa when his heart stopped. About fifteen feet from where he stood, the titan who was previously staring down at Mikasa like a piece of meat, picked its eyes up to him when it heard his footsteps. It was slightly hunched over with an outreached arm towards the aforementioned child. Its tiny teeth perfectly lined up that never seemed to end. The lips looked chapped but didn't look like lips either. He could feel his sweat travelling down to his neck as he made eye contact with the monster. The long-haired titan had a smug smile that he wanted to tear off but when he attempted to move, his feet remained where they were. The titan looked at him as if it were daring him to come any closer. If it could talk, he was sure that it would be taunting him. Hannes slowly let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Its eyes moved away from him when it heard Mikasa yell for it. She taking its attention away from him so he could escape.

Hannes didn't want to escape. He wanted scold her for trying to be the hero. He was supposed to save her. He was supposed to kill the titan. He realised he couldn't as he began to slide his swords back into their respective slots. Mikasa cupped her hands around her mouth as she yelled, "Save Eren and Carla!" He could feel the heat of the sunset's rays hitting against the back of his neck as he ran back the way he came from. He could barely hear her fading steps over the titan's. Hannes wanted to puke when the thought of the steps getting quieter relieved him. His eyes began to feel warm when he could hear Eren and Carla screaming at each other as Carla attempted to crawl out from the roof that Eren managed to hold up.

He hadn't noticed when the monster had turned off into the opposite direction or the disturbed look on Hannes' face when he lifted the roof top even higher. The most important task at the moment was to get his mom out of there alive. After Hannes had lifted up the roof, Eren immediately grabbed onto her arms and pulled her out. He didn't have time to look at the extent of her injuries when she was thrown over his shoulder and was picked up and carried away. Eren wanted to feel relieved ; he wanted to feel happy because his mom wasn't going to die. Instead a feeling of anxiety began to settle in his stomach. When he tried to voice out his concerns, it only came out in a squeak as he said the name of his adopted sister. He looked up when he heard his mother's crying but he found it too difficult to ignore the look of self-disgust and guilt Hannes had tossed him.

"Stop! Where's Mikasa! Where's the titan! Did you kill it? What about Mikasa?" Eren repeated his questions while struggling to get out of his hold. If she wasn't here, then maybe Hannes told her to go ahead towards the boats but he knew that was just stupid. He knew better than anyone that even in the face of danger, Mikasa wouldn't leave without those that she cared about behind. The look Hannes gave him wasn't one that ensured a victorious end. It was almost like he had seen the world end right in front of him. Eren wasn't sure what was going on but all he knew was that Mikasa wasn't here and Hannes knows something about it.

With the sounds of Carla's weeping and his angered yells of sorrow, he had continuously pounded on Hannes' head angrily. "Eren, what?" He grunted out as he slowed to a stop. "We need to go back! Why the hell did you run away?! We have to go back and get her!" Eren said as he elbowed his head again. It wasn't that he was mad at Hannes. He just needed to run away and look for Mikasa because Hannes wasn't telling him anything. "Cut it out!"

Before he knew it, he was thrown on the ground and had the air knocked out of him. Hannes stood still in front of him with Carla whimpering out both their names. "Eren, you weren't strong enough to save your mom on your own," he said as he lowered himself to Eren's level. He didn't need anyone to tell him the obvious. It made him feel even more pathetic than he already felt. Hannes held the punch that was aimed for his face as Eren breathed in heavily. "I... I couldn't face the titan because I was scared!" What?

Eren's eyes widened in realisation. He was still a human with fears. Just because you were trained to kill the titans it didn't guarantee that the fear would disappear. The tears streaming down his face was enough to show that the fear of titans still plagued his mind. He picked himself up and began walking again, calmly taking Eren's hand into his own with Carla lying over his shoulder. The pain of hearing her son cry and the sounds of him attempting to restrain his sobs hurt her more than her wounds would. She remained sniffling while praying to a god, any god that was out there listening to her, that she was still alive. Though it may not have seemed like it, she paid attention to Hannes and hadn't heard of her actually getting killed. She wanted to ask about it. What had happened to her little girl? Carla almost worked up the nerve to voice her worries but when she heard Eren, she had to bite her tongue. Maybe the answer Hannes had wouldn't satisfy them. Maybe the answer he had would break him, change him into someone she didn't raise him to be. She wasn't crying because of her legs or there being a chance that most or all of her friends were dead. Her heart was shattered when the memory of Mikasa before she ran off played over and over. When she had mouthed in her native language to her and Eren that she loved them.

She believed no one should have gone through what Mikasa did before she met her. Mikasa was too young to have to worry about choosing whether she should get eaten or not just to save her. To know that someone that young who loved her would have done that again if she could even if they didn't know each other that long. She only wished they met earlier but that would have been all the more painful. Then she apologised. Mikasa apologised because she knew what that thing was going to do to her if she just left herself out there. She knew the pain of losing someone and she didn't want anyone else that she cared for to feel that. Everything hurt inside. The last thing Carla told Mikasa before the titans came in was to make sure Eren was safe; that she took care of him. The name of her son came to mind as she looked at him. He still had tears running down his face but he had a distant look. Maybe it was all just now hitting him. She placed a hand over her heart. Maybe she was fine? Mikasa was a strong smart girl. There could be a possibility that she was already near the boats or some other guard found her. Carla tried her best to not get excited over it.

"We have to save her. W-we need to go back. For Mikasa. She's p-probably scared and crying and waiting for us in an alley somewhere," Eren continued sobbing quietly. He tried rubbing at his eyes to get the overflowing of tears to stop but his wet sleeves made it obvious that he wasn't going to stop for a while. "She helped save mom. I promised her," he muttered, "I promised her that I was going to protect her." It broke their hearts to hear his voice cracked as he voiced out his guilt. "Hannes, how did it eat her?" He never wished a titan had eaten him more than now. When he didn't hear an answer, he spoke up once again, "Hannes I have to know. Tell me now!" He started getting hysterical but Hannes sighed out, "I didn't see it."

"W-what?!" He gripped his hand with his other one. "Does that mean she made it? Did you call for someone else to save her? Someone noticed her then, right?" He pulled on his wrist harshly. A small glint of hope shined in his eyes. _Maybe it's not too late! We can still save her!_

"Hannes let go! She could still be out there! She's still alive! I can give her back this stupid red scarf!" He didn't stop. Hannes continued walking on, seemingly undisturbed by Eren's actions. He refused to believe that Mikasa would die from something like this. She was way too strong for something stupid like a titan. "Maybe she's already finding a way to the boats," he added silently. He was hoping to convince them - even himself that this was true. She was a strong girl so perhaps she could hold off on her own against a titan before another guard found her. One of them were bound to find her by now.

When he was silent, he looked away from the empty road in front of him and observe the damage done to Carla's legs. It made him wince to see the small trail of blood that was left, forming a trail. He didn't have to look at her toes to see that they were broken. Her dress was full of splinters and had a few decent tears but she was still alive. That was something he didn't have to worry about telling Grisha when he got back.

He hated himself. He left a child for dead because he was scared and he still walked around as if he was king. He didn't deserve to wear the stationary guard jacket. The manuever gear was useless to someone if they were too scared to even move. He honestly hoped that she was on one of those boats. He couldn't live with himself if he found out if a titan really did get its hands on her.

* * *

Time had passed by quickly enough that the two found themselves getting on the boat with Hannes still assisting her. Carla's legs were laid out in front of her while she sat up against a wall with Eren by her side. She couldn't read his face from the angle she was at but she held onto his hand with a gentle squeeze. He looked up and could barely smile before she saw his eyes beginning to fill with tears again. His other hand hugged the scarf to his chest. A ghost of a sad smile appeared on her face as she remembered how worried Eren looked whenever Mikasa would try to do activities that only boys would do so she wouldn't be forgotten.

She remembered those days. When Mikasa finally told Carla one of the reasons she wanted to get stronger, it almost made her want to cry. The girl was scared at the thought of being alone again. She didn't want to be left out of games when Eren and Armin didn't want her to get hurt. It was cute but she hugged Mikasa out of comfort and not just because she was being adorable again. She remembered when Eren found out and got mad at her. He told her she was being stupid if she thought she was getting left behind just because he didn't want her to play a few games with her. He was worried about her dress getting torn or her getting a cut but she ended up proving them wrong when what they really had to worry about was her having too much fun. Carla wanted to go back to simpler times. To times when Eren was still trying to get her to smile instead of her wearing that sad face. She wanted to go back to Eren only getting in fights when Mikasa was involved. Her head throbbed when she thought of the day Mikasa walked in on their lives. She'd never seen Eren so determined to make someone happy outside of their family.

The boat they had gotten on wasn't even halfway full so Eren quickly got up and looked around, looking for her. When he couldn't find her, he made the assumption that she was on the other boat. He had to stop yelling her name when his mother tugged on his sleeve. With her not answering to her name, he could feel his vision darkening. If she wasn't on this boat or the other, where could she be. Eren could almost feel himself hyperventilating. His head snapped up to the huge crowd across when he heard their yells of protests. They were picking up the lift. The boat was full. They couldn't fit anymore people. His eyes snapped back and forth for a head of black hair, a pink coat, white dress, grey eyes, a girl, **anything**. A fresh stream of tears began dripping down to his knees when he didn't see anything. "M-Mikasa..." he whispered._ You...you fucking idiot._ Why would she do this to him? No one told her to do this. She was always trying to be the strong one when it should have been him. He was supposed to be the man. He was supposed to protect the two important women in his life. She wasn't supposed to go and get eaten. She didn't even say anything. He only heard her say sorry like it was supposed to make up everything that she was about to do. He didn't want her to get left behind. He didn't just murder those two men just for her to eaten. He remembered how once in awhile, she would say something about paying him back one day. It made him uncomfortable because he knew that this girl would do just about anything to make him happy, to make sure he was safe. He just didn't realise she would get herself killed just so he could escape.

Angry yells echoed. These people were going to get left behind. A mother and her child were going to get eaten. A homeless man was left for dead. An old woman was wedged under a boulder, most likely dead. Every person that couldn't fit on the boats were going to die. One of the guards blocking the crowd yell at the boat to leave. It didn't take long for it to take off. Eren and Carla listlessly watched as people ran and jumped, hoping to hold on to the side of the ledge for a chance at survival. Some made it, others were just too short and landed in the water. It made him wonder - if Mikasa were there with the crowd, would she try to jump toward the boat herself?

Cannons were shot from a distance away. Smoke floated over the other side of the wall where the Colossal titan appeared. The only sounds that were heard were the cannons being fired and fast paced footsteps. It sounded like a titan was running but they don't normally run...?

Too soon after that, the gate exploded. There were flying debris and guards in the sky as Eren looked over at the gate. How did it explode? His mouth dropped open when he saw another titan skid across through the smoke and dust. How did it break through? This one was different though. Its skin looked nothing like the ones he'd seen before. It didn't have the smile that they all seemingly had. It was crouched over, as it let out a breath of fire. Some of the debris crushed the houses nearby and some far. Others crushed some of the people in the crowds. The titan stood up. No one made a sound, even the ones that were still alive after being crushed, as they stared at the titan. The only sound Eren could hear was the sound of the his heart._ The gate's been...breached?_ That wasn't possible. The wall was way too thick. Nothing should have been able to penetrate through.

Were there more like it? He left his body in the same position, watching the scene in front of him, scared the titan would suddenly appear in front of him. If there was a possibility of a titan taller than the walls and another strong enough to break through the walls, then he wouldn't be surprised if there were more species of titans that were unheard of. He felt something break. Not from the boat but inside him. Was it his hope? Something inside him said that this was it. They were all going to die.

His eyes remained fixed on the armoured titan that stood from a further distance until he heard his mom gasp and touch his shoulder. Eren looked at her, confused. He understood the situation they were in but he couldn't understand why she was making such a sad face with a smile that almost made him want to cry. She wasn't looking at him but at the crowd. Some of them had accepted their fates and remained where they stood while others still tried to catch up to it, hoping to live or at least throw their children on it. Among those people, he saw it. The scarf that held a person in mind. There was only one person he knew that had hair that dark. He gasped as well before going over the people hugging their knees and grabbed on the ledge. In front of the raging crowd, there she stood, smiling like he was going off on a damn cruise. He leaned over, "Mikasa! Don't just stand there! Hurry up and jump!" He could see tears falling from her face as she continued to stare at the ground in front of her.

"Mikasa get over here!" He looked back at his mom when he heard her voice crack. She began to cry even harder. He looked at the leap she'd have to make from the edge of the walkway to the boat. It made a small part of him doubt that she could even make it halfway. She may be strong but she couldn't depend on her strength when what she needed was an extra boost. "I'll catch you so come on! What the hell are you waiting for?!" He felt rage swell when he saw her shake her head slowly. It wasn't fair! Why does she keep doing this, thinking that she can protect everyone? It's like she'd toss her life away as if it meant nothing to her! He reached out towards her while the boat was crossing the second gate. "Let's go! It's going to close!"

She stopped shaking her head but she wasn't doing anything else. _What's wrong with her?_ If she was going to acting like that, then he would go over there and get her himself. She'd have go up to his face and apologise. She wasn't going to get left behind. Not when he was still around.

"Thank you Eren, for everything. And tell Grisha that I love him too." She lifted a hand to her face to stifle her cries. He knew she didn't want to get left behind. She didn't want to separate from him. Yet she was sacrificing herself. This was going to be the last time he saw her. "Don't thank me for something you know I would've done in a heartbeat! Stop being crazy and shut up and get over here so you can tell Dad that yourself!"

He didn't like how she bowed her head even lower to hide her tears from him. "I know how you're feeling but this is for the best." Eren gripped on the ledge with enough force to make his fingers turn white. He doesn't want to hear any of this. "If you don't make it, I'll save you! Just hurry up and ju-" He paused when he heard a yell from above. He looked up to see a few stationary guards already closing the exit.

No _no_ **_no _stop.** Why was this happening? She wasn't on the boat yet. He promised her that he was going to protect her. If he had to get left behind too then so be it. He already had one of his legs on the edge, ready to lift him up when he felt a hand grab his wrist. He turned back, angry that someone was trying to stop him. He wasn't going to leave her there.

Carla Yeager glared at her son. It was hard to get mad at someone who looked like they had their purpose in life taken away. She wished her legs weren't so useless so she could get Mikasa herself and the two children would never have to be separated. "Don't do it, Eren. She didn't risk herself just for you to get yourself killed." Why was she saying that? She made it sound like she really did plan on leaving her there. Were they really going to do it? She was going to have to face that other titan that burst in. "But we can't just leave here there!" She wasn't allowed to die! "But mom she's..." he trailed off. They both looked at her direction to see the gate had closed enough to where only her feet could be seen.

"I did good, right?" Eren wasn't even sure who that came from. It sounded like Mikasa but he wasn't even sure anymore.

_Don't go.  
_

* * *

**I know I haven't put anything up for a while but this has been roaming around for a while and I couldn't ignore it. I've been getting some heavy Eremika feels since re-watching (and rereading) SnK. Uhh sorry if this is out of nowhere and I know it's not the best but it took me a week to actually type this up and I got really pumped up for this because it's been years since I've written anything story-wise so I'm trying! Apologies if they seem OOC but I really did go back and read the first chapter and watch the first few episodes for references. I'm not really sure where I'll go with this or if this is finished or become a two-shot or something. I have three directions this story may go:**

**-I could just leave it like this (as in this is finished)  
****-Make it into a two-shot (which was originally planned but after typing this up, it makes me a bit hesitant)  
****-A full blown story (chances are it most likely won't be finished _ever_ because I even though I kind of have somewhat of an idea for like two more chapters I have no clue on where it'll go) **

**So I literally am just making this up as I go.**

**Love it? Hate it? Reviews and some critiques would be nice!**


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